Gloomy and boring and...haiz.....

Quite boring 2day..... didnt feel like playing or studying.... suddenly i just felt quite sad. Dun wanna say what made me upset or what happen for i might die if i open my mouth. Juz woke up in the morning and juz felt quite.... haiz....

I just woke up in the morning and look around... im at home... though national day sang yesterday this is home truly... but whats juz around me? myself, my bed and my pillows and no1 else. Felt quite lonely and.... well.... im all by myself. Lonely...yup, thats what i felt. i thought back of my whole secondary sch life and concluded... im neither here nor there, im not unwanted nor wanted. You get what i mean??? A strange loneliness I've never felt b4 though u all may juz say " Hey you're not alone, Im your friend..." and stuff like that but thats not the point. I just feel this emotion can never be described. I looked back and thought, I always seem happy in school but I'm not as happy inside. Though im a guy and seem happy all the time, im also a human... izzit ok to cry? I wont force myself to be happy all the time cuz i dun wanna cheat myself.

Anyway... Im now juz trying to relax and of cuz feel tensed when I picture myself taking my results.... Whether i really cry or smile depends on tomorrow.